I would like to shout out to Julianne Oster. She is my Dance teacher, Friend and Boss...and today is her birthday. She's like 40 something, but has the bod of a 21 yr old! I heart her and all that she does. She puts up with me, listens to my rants and I try so deperately to do the same for her..but most of the time I just tell to dump that guy cuz she is worth SO much more! Anyways, I digress....
Last night was the adult tap and jazz class. I take this class (and teach it often enough) with a few of my besties. Numero uno, my love and bff forever, Hadiya aka Dee. Tina..I teach her daughter Kira on tuesdays so double dose of Tina..Woot! Can't Forget Jamie! I teach her son Taylor on saturdays. He's a jem and She is the sweetest..
Class went as usual. Angela brought her baby..(and nice momma physique) to class. Her name is Maya..and she is the cutest. Darn that precious thing..she just had to get all quiet and googley with me. Agh I missed Bella so much it hurt. Bellas dad and me are switching her weeks and most of the time I just dont know how I manage without her.
Maya made me think back to all the moments of when Bellaboo was so tiny and fragile and how there is nothing sweeter than the cries, coos and lil angelic smiles of a baby and how fast it goes by. You think your going to have it forever. This past year has been a gift and a struggle. Most mornings without Bella I just stand in the shower and cry pathetically. I know she would be just as crushed without her dad, so I just grin and bear it. I fear every moment she is a away she just learned something new without me or I just missed that perfect smile and that contagious laugh...
I dont know how she is really taking this and I worry everyday. I just hope last year I made the right descion. I dont want her to ever suffer because of me. Bella is my world and seeing her unhappy is the worst feeling ever. She is my heart, my soul and my everything. Love you Bella. Momma is ALWAYS thinking about you.
I started today with the intention of writting about crazy asian dude and super sweaty booty bump guy from the bar last night and how me, tina and dee celebrated julies birthday without her..but I guess there was just something else wanting to get out.
Can't wait to leave work..I'm going to therapy!! a.k.a. going shopping!! hahahaha. Buying Bella some new clothes and toys for her birthday. I'm thinking mani-pedi too.
Happy Friday!!
......Gawsh now I have to fix my make-up!......
No comments:
Post a Comment